


it'll have to be enough for now

by normurdar



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Baze POV, Canon Compliant, Criticism is greatly appreciated, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, it's my first fanfic..
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9436502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/normurdar/pseuds/normurdar
Summary: On the journey to the rebel base on Yavin 4, Baze notices a change on his lifetime companion.





	

It wasn't long after they left Eadu and set course for the rebel base, on one moon called Yavin 4 which Baze knew only by name, that he noticed a change in Chirrut.

All of his new companions were visibly beaten, true; despite the girl Jyn's loss, the defector pilot was the one that seemed the most deflated. All of them soaked through to their bones, silent after Cassian and Jyn's brief strife. But Chirrut was different. Not only because he had kept quiet for the whole time they trudged back to the ship, but because of his tired stance.

Sitting just by his feet, Chirrut had his eyes closed and leant his head on the upward staff. For once in his quiet moments, he wasn't praying, quietly observing or meditating either. Baze propped himself on his elbows and nudged one of Chirrut's crossed legs slightly. The monk started, as if he was dozing, but quickly turned his head to the offending foot and offered a smile. He seemed to mean to say something as he leant the side of his face on his staff, but nothing really came out. He just huffed a puff of air in his friend's general direction.

Baze righted himself up into a sitting position, near enough that he could talk reservedly. Brushing his knuckles on the monk's nearest knee, he lowered his head to talk - 'Well, this will be the first time you have nothing to say.' he teased lightly, trying not to sound too concerned.

This time Chirrut huffed a small laugh, just enough to crinkle the corners of his eyes for a bit. 'I think that all this rain has washed some of my good humor away.' To which Baze grumbled disbelief deep in his throat. 'Guess it falls to you to entertain me meanwhile, it's only fair.'

Baze chose to ignore this quip in favor of insisting again. 'It would do good to you to rest a little,' and added quickly, lest the other could find it in him to tease, 'considering your old age.'

'Perhaps you're right.' he answered simply. He kept still, though, as if too tired even to decide how to go about it, in the chill ship.

Trying not to think much on Chirrut's tone and easy acceptance, Baze gave the rest of the team a searching look.

Despite the general air of defeat, only one other had fallen asleep in the quiet. The captain was sitting by the command deck, exchanging some words with K-2SO, though it didn't seem like they were talking about anything related to the piloting of the ship, given Cassian's worn out expression.

The defector Bodhi, who Baze had noticed to be trying to give Jyn comfort at some point, had fallen asleep by her side. He couldn't blame him, though, given that the man had seemed to be on edge for the whole time they were together.

And finally, Jyn... Jyn was looking at him, he noticed surprised, but didn't look away. Her eyes seemed hollow, a dark shade around and under them; she had an intent gaze, but it carried no anger or malice.

'You look like you could use some sleep, little sister.' he remarked, to which she quickly responded, 'I could say the same about you.' in a raspy voice.   
As if to amend her tone, she said after some beats, 'Specially him, I'd say.' jutting her chin out in Chirrut's direction.

The monk smiled kindly at this. 'You lost too much in too little time. There's strengh in giving yourself some time to rest, Jyn Erso.' And it hurt Baze in his core to hear those words, as if they were meant for him, or even for Chirrut himself. Perhaps they were meant for all of them.

The girl Jyn responded softly, to his wonder, but her words were heavy in the air. 'I don't think there's enough resting to mend that,' and by the corner of his eye, Baze could see that the captain had stopped talking for a moment to listen, 'but you are right. Saw Guerrera told me time and again that I couldn't ever build anything on fatigue.' but she could on anger, she left unsaid.

Both of them nodded at that, Chirrut smiling his weak smile again; Cassian had gone back to talking in his hushed tones, Baze noticed absentmindedly. He gave Jyn another look before they turned away from eachother.

As he turned back to Chirrut, Baze scrutinized the situation for some moments, before he found it in himself to care not for the semi-public display. He had stripped from part of his armor a bit before, and so it wouldn't end up a hard obstacle between them. He took the hand holding the staff upright, guiding it to the ground. The monk turned his head to the side in a quizzical way, but didn't offer resistance. Baze then put a hand on his shoulder, sliding it down on his back to better pull the cold body against his chest. 'Here, come.'

During the years they were together, at first growing up at the temple, and later scurrying the streets of NiJedha either fighting or fleeing, the monk-turned-assassin learned that his companion was a stubborn one. He wouldn't stop training, preaching or fighting for nothing, and would keep at it with an yet stronger will if he deemed his efforts necessary to help others; oftentimes it was only by collapsing or his not-very-gentle insistence that the other would slow down.

Only it went differently this time.

Once he understood what was happening, the monk offered only some resistance before allowing himself to fully collapse on his friend's chest. He gave out just the smallest indignant sound, before planting a hand by his head and turning his face into Baze's hair, as if to hide it. His chest heaved and exhaled a long trembling breath, scaring Baze into motionlessness. He laughed a quiet and wet mock of a laugh, but then went very quiet.

The strangeness of Chirrut's silence was almost overwhelming, but still Baze put a hand to the back of his neck, draped an arm loosely around the other's back, and prayed silently that this would be enough for now.

It was only after some moments holding that still frame together, that the monk uttered a sound. 'There's nothing I can do anymore. For any of them.' he said, and it was with such bitterness and sorrow that it took a moment to register into Baze's weary mind. He couldn't deny it outright, though, not when the same feeling was biting at him so viciously, since their almost-escape from Jedha.

He wanted to say that there was hope still, but couldn't bring himself to do it, no when it was such a pitiful lie. And even so to see Chirrut bare like that, raw and wounded and... faithless, it was unbearable.

There were just a rare few moments in his lifetime in which Baze had to find solace for both of them; not because he lacked in courage or determination to do so, but because Chirrut had such an immense capability to scrape whatever strengh there was for them to have through all hardships, that he rarely had to do so alone.

The only thing that came to his mind was what he had always held onto in these moments, the single bit of hope that he could rely on. 

His grasp on Chirrut's neck tightened just so, as he breathed down the damp hair. 'There isn't,' he let it sink in for a moment, 'but I am still here. And I won't ever go away as long as there's life in me.'

There was silence for some moments, in which he had accepted to let the other rest quietly, before he heard a small voice. 'That's barely any comfort, I'll let you know.'

A guffaw of surprised laughter escaped his chest, so sudden and loud that Bodhi woke up in a start, smashing both of his feet on the metal floor as if he had just fallen on his seat.

Baze felt warmth creep in chest again, if just a little, and before he could bit back a remark, came a silent 'Thank you.', the former rigid form giving in to sleep in a softer way. He put his chilled cheek to the top of that wet head, and let his eyes close.

This would have to be enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfiction, for a movie and a ship that captivated me like nothing had for a very long time.  
> Thank you so much for reading, and please feel free to leave a comment/criticism :)


End file.
